Friday, May 29, 2009

I love blogs!

I know I have shared how I love to read others blogs. I follow way too many. Mmy friends make fun of me when I mentioned something I read in this blog or that. I think that one of the reasons I love following certian blogs so much is the challenge they bring in my life. After reading them, I am encouraged to pursue more of what God has for me. Some of them are teaching a truth, while others just help me identify with a certian situation. I am often amazed how the struggles I am going through right now are not unknown to others.

I think that is why I post now. "Others" in my life is a cool thing. I am not sure how or what God is thinking right now in regards to my relationship with "others". Why are some no longer as previlant as others? Why are some not what I thought they would be or look like what I expected? How "others" are transforming into something more beautiful than I could imagine. Bottom line . . . I am thankful that the Lord did not want me to walk through this life alone. I am thankful that He is so sweet to provide me "others" to expereince this life I live.

While I am not clear on what direction He is guiding me at the moment (in so many ways), I am thankful for His presence being so near to me right now. I am thankful that while I don't have much to share with "others" in my journey with Him out loud right now, I am experiencing so much of the fullness of God that it seems as if I might explode. Sounds pretty messy, but a wonderful messy.

I hope those few who read this would seek out a way to find your "others". Make sure you are not alone. If you are, ask Him to provide you some and keep your eyes open to the "others" that are already there. He is faithful. You will not be disappointed! God want to use them to bless us in our lives. He doesn't want us to be alone. Who knows how many people might even consider us the "others" in their life!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Star Performer!

Sydney did a great job at her recital. Only the die hards may dare to watch this 3 minutes of joy for her mother! She is the one in the middle with the darker hair in case you can't tell which one is her. Enjoy!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Are there words for this?

I was trying to keep Jackson to sleep for just a few minutes. So I put him his carseat that sits in the swing frame we have for him. It is on the floor, so I put him in with no belt. So away he swings and when I go back to get him I find him all curled up on his side. Too cute! Not that Iwould ever put him in a swing not strapped in! Okay . . . maybe this is a posting of a picture for a mom who thinks she has the cutest 5 month old right now! I am a blessed mom for sure! I had that revelation when watching Dancing with the Stars and enjoying my three dancers who were giving a live performance in my living room! I wish I had video of it all!
P.S. Yes he has no clothes on! I love little boys in just a diaper . . . and poop wipes of skin better than clothes! :)

What's floating in my brain at the moment

Hmmmmm . . . where to begin! I guess I am amazed at how just when you think the roller coaster of life can't get any crazier, you reach the top of the hill. I really can't believe how much is going on in the midst of normal every day life. Is that possible?

I tend to dive to deep and sometimes I am not even sure where my posts are going to go from start to finish. Maybe that is why they seem to have a mind of their own. I had a great morning at ballet. Patrick got to go and watch Sydney's last class. They put on their costumes and I am truly amazed how the simple fabric can transform a child. She was on cloud nine! I can't wait for all the fun this weekend with the recital.

On the other hand life is so complicated for me. I feel like I am just almost frozen with several relationships. I am not sure what to do, how to proceed, or even what to pray. So litterally almost all of my days lately are "give me words Lord . . . .tell me what to do next". My heart is feeling timid about what the future holds and this is one of the first times in a while that I can remember telling the Lord, "whatever you want I will follow". This in itself can pose challenges because not many things in my life feel familiar. In fact that in itself is the blessing and the challenge. How do I operate in a place that is so unfamiliar? How can you walk in blissfulness and feel on the verge of tears at the same time. That knot in my stomach is a constant reminder that I am really on the verge of breaking through one of these walls that I have placed around myself for protection for so long. The irony is (I just thought of this) that it has been so well camoflauged in my life so to speak that I didn't even really see it there. I may not be making sense at all. In fact this is another part of my delima. I feel as if I am speaking a foreign lanuage.
So, now the most pressing issue. Can I keep my mouth shut long enough for the Lord to finish what He has started? I just want so desperately to talk about what I am sensing the Lord do and I feel like I am just supposed to wait. . . . seriously! I knew that in January when He told me that my winter was ending and the beauty of spring had finally started I thought I got it. Little did I know that, like always, God has something so much more in store. Thank goodness I am not left in charge of His bigness (does that even make sense?)
So I must end here . . . I seem to writing in circles and not making much sense. All I can say with clarity is that what treasure Psalm 145 16-21 is to me:

You open you hand and saitisfy the desires of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the deisres of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who live him, but the wicked he will destroy.
I am such a song person. God truly speaks so clearly to me through songs. One that has truly touched me lately is the song "Savior, Please" by Josh Wilson. I love my song player, however I can't always find the song I want to play on it. So here is the chorus:

I try to be so tough, I am just not strong enough.
I can't do this alone, God I need you to hold onto me.
I try be good enough, but I am nothing without your love
Savior please, keep saving me!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Has it been 5 months already?

Hard to believe that Jackson has been around for five whole months! It is amazing the transformation he has gone through . . . me too . . . from birth to today. As I type he is laying in his crib on his tummy. He started rolling over last weekend and now I find he enjoys the tummy more or else he doesn' t want to bother turning back over. He now will lose the bald spot on the back of his for a permanently red cheek! He sleeeps at least ten hours each night and is due to mommy's hesitiancy will not be eating anything exciting for another month. He absolutely loves to be in the noisy toy . . . the jumperoo. Sometimes I am thrown off by the new voice he has been using lately. I am not sure first of all who it is and second of all is that a happy sound or one that needs me.

Sydney and Jacob are doing such a great job taking care of him and he is learning how to laugh without sounding like he is in pain when he does it. He loves to grab onto things, especially his sisters' hair that gets to close to his open hand.

I must confess I thought that going from three to four might not be that big of deal based on what I heard, but I would be lying if I said this was a cake walk. I am glad to start seeing that each day is easier than the day before . . . but then let me see how this weekend goes with my husband gone from Thursday to Sunday!

What a blessed woman I am to have four beautiful healthy children. I am so thankful each day how each one has enriched my life in a different way. Now, off to do some laundry, some more after that, and so on and so on . . . . is that one of the perks of being a mom?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Worth the time to watch!

It is funny how one thing leads you to another and sometimes you wonder how did you get where you are. This post is about following one gals blog leading me to another, that led me to her husband's and then to his friend's blog. Did you follow that?

I am so amazed at the power of hope. Not just hope in general, but the hope that is only found in Christ. I am a living testimony to the power of God when we choose to trust what his word, the Bible, says over what we feel. When we look to him to provide us with our every need instead of our family, friends, or things that we are surrounded with.

One of the most powerful statements I heard on this video is:

There will be a moment when you feel like you have no options, you will feel like the darkness is closing in around you, you will feel like you are all alone . . .
God will allow pain and God will allow sufferings, God will allow unexpected crisis, in order to detach our hope from other things and attach it to himself.

I don't know what you have experienced in your life, but I do know that there is athat moment of darkness in all of our lives. It is then when we have see if what we believe is really that hope that the Bible talks about.

I know this is a 27 minute video, but get in a comfy chair and listen to just a simple presntation of what it means when the worst thing you could imagine stares you down and you have to find what it is that truly holds you together . . .not the church, not religion, but God.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Remember when. . .

I will never forget the days of sponge culers. My grandma would roll up my hair . . . my mom too . . . and I would have the ever coveted curly hair. My hair was straight as a board and wouldn't curl for anything. I will never forget one particular morning when I my mom unveiled my hair before school. I had hair that was down to the middle of my back. When she took out the curlers it was above my shoulders. I was mortified! I thought I looked like Shirley Temple but it didn't make me feel good.
So now to these pictures. My mom brought some of these on a visit she and my grandma made. She was kind enough to leave them with me to do Syd's hair. So, I finally gave it a whirl. Man was it hard to do. I will have to try again and she if it works better. These were the best shots of her hair. They all kind of fell out on their own. I guess it is another thing I get to practice getting good at. At least she was a willing participant!

The picture says it!

What more could I want when it look into these precious brown eyes? The world seems just right when I look at this!

By the way the hooded towel is a handmade creation of Patrick's sister, Sheryl. She made this for Jacob oh so many years ago. I have each child's photo in it and it is scary how much they all look alike in this towel!

AWANAs Awards

Well, it is hard to believe it is that time of year again. We just finished up another great year of AWANAs. Jacob and Sydney enjoy going and learn a lot of neat things too! Sydney got lots of goodies from her teacher. Sydney's teacher mentioned that she enjoyed Syd's love of God's creation . . . meaning she got a flower every chance Syd could get. We have been blessed to have Ms. Sue both years of the three and four year old Cubbies.

Jacob was also honored at the awards. He was one of two kindergarteners to finish his first book, review it (like 30 verses) and finsh a second book . . . and finish another extra book. He was such a trooper. I would ask "do you want to keep working?" and everytime he would say yes. He earned a medal for going the extra mile. I have enjoyed watching him learn so much this year in AWANAs.

I brought my zoom lens and found out that even in our church a zoom is not always good. I barely could get far enough away to take these two pictures. Oh well, live and learn right?

I am also including a sweet and cuddly pic of Savannah. I had her all dressed up for the Six White Horses to come to her school that day. Could I get a sweet picture? Apparently she was having empathy attitude for his sister that day. Oh, the joys of emotions. Some day they are right where they should be and other days we just do our best to survive, right? :)

What to do on a day that hits 105?

We had a playdate planned at my house today. Little did I know that it would be so hot! I pleaded with Pat to put up the slide before he left so we could use it in case the kids got bored. Well, after maybe 10 mintues everyone was in their suit and ready to get wet. I must say that out of six kids (two being under 1 year) we had a great time. Thanks to our wonderfully cleaned off back porch and oh so soft grass (minus a few stickers) the kids played until we told them to come in. I think they were out there from 11:00 until 3:00(minus the younger ones who had to take a nap and time to eat a quick bite to eat).

Here are a few pictures of our fun. I am so thankful we have this slide to use again this summer (Shout out to Grandma!). Even though the kids had a blast, I think I had an equally great one as well. I love getting to sit with friends a chat about this and that. I think it is in those times that you can actually have a great conversation and not even know that you would. I am learning that you can't plan these things . . . they just happen while you are just "being" with some one. So thanks to Cindy and Nicole for just being with me today. Maybe some of you others might want to join us next time. The more the merrier . . . outside! :)

By the way, I made my monkey bread again and it was crispy just like you like it grandma! I might have to cook it for you again.