I am still here . . .

It has been too long since my last post, but I am excited that we are having some predictablity around this place. It is hard to believe it has been over a month since our Jackson has been here. He is a great baby and I couldn feel more blessed. We have had more sickness since his birth than probably the last year combined, but that is the way it goes when you have enough children that are your own to have a day care as my peditatrian pointed out.

It is really fun to watch the realtionships between the older three develop. They truly enjoy each other and it is fun to see how they play. For example, I was feeding Jackson in the living roomn and I hear, "Stop, drop and roll." I listen closer and Jacob is teaching Sydney how to make sure it is safe to leave a room and how to put out a fire on her. As I type this a sudden fear came over me. Should I be worried about any future plans he has for their play time? :) Just kidding, at least I hope I don't need to worry.

I just started for the upteenth time the book Power of a Praying Wife. I am amazed at how alive and active God is not only through His word, but people who share his truth. While I can't go into details, I am so thankful that his mercies are new every morning. I am also thankful as I just recently heard in a Nicole Nordeman song:

Thank you Jesus when you see us just as we are fragile and so far from who we want to be

Thank you Jesus even when the pieces are broken and scarred, dreams shattered and scattered like the wind

Thank you Jesus even then

What hits me most poignantly these days, just like I was reminded when I read The Shack (not shed :) lol), is that God truly sees us not as we try to present ourselves but as we are. In seeing us that way he still offers us all that he has. To be desired by someone so incomprehnsible my mind just sits and struggles with this true act of grace. I am not sure why it is so hard to grasp God's desire for a relationship with ME, not who I want to be but ME NOW just as I am. Even as I try to share, words seem to be lacking. I guess that is the other part of God that I love. He doesn't want you to know him based on what I say or someone else says, but on the interaction you have with him. May that time you spend with him today be the icing on you cake!

Be blessed! P.S. Had to include the youngest . . . he hadn't been able to join in much of the fun around our house. I can't wait for the old grandpa look to soften a little. He is so cute, but in pictures new borns (at least mine) favor the ARRP age, irony for another day.