Sunsets and God

Whew! It seems that time to sit and reflect on life are far and few between. I have to remind myself that this is a season that passes way too quickly and I need to take it in before it is gone. But between dirty diapers, laundry, dishes, dirty faces, and any other task that makes up my day being a wife and mother to four . . . God has graced me with an ability to make the most of the moments that come my way to chew the fat with Him.

We have been studying the Holy Spirit at church these past few weeks and it has really got me to seeing life differently. I am so thankful that my life group allows me to be honest enough to pose the struggles I have in this area. How does one live a life completely consumed by the best thing . . .God . . . and not remove yourself from a world that hasn't tasted what that is like? It is funny to me because I know that someone who hasn't experience the awareness of who God really is might not see things as I do. How to bridge that gap baffles me. What frustrates me is that there is really no way to describe it either. Just like you can't tell a person what the sunset looked liked no matter how eloquent your description unless they were looking at it from your eyes.

So back to understanding how to live a life filled by this awesome and incredible Spirit of God on a daily basis. What God has been showing me is so simple I really can't believe I missed it in the first place. I ask Him. I ask Him what does He have in mind before any given situation and what role does He want me to play in it. It is not that I haven't sought out these answers, but sometimes I let pomp and circumstance get in the way of a gut level interaction with God. No flowery words needed, no special rituals . . . just ask and most importantly listen. Who do you want me to encourage, share you love, freedom with? That is how these ordinary tasks change into extraordinary Spirit filled moments. What better way to spend the day by encountering a Holy and mighty God by pointing people back to Him! I tried it today and nothing life shattering happened to anyone else, but to me it was incredible. He spoke and and I heard and now I am on a mission.

I am sure I might be out there for some, but one day I pray that when we see this same sunset together we will not words to explain it. BTW the picture is the closest thing I have to a recent sunset for me, kind of random I guess. :)

Just wanted to share!

Lots going on and would love to tell but it is not the right time. So I thought I would share this awesome video! May it bless you like it did me! Be sure to pause the music at the bottom before you watch the video.

I am a little impressed, if I do say so myself!

I am not into do it yourself projects. When we painted our tiny bathroom in our old house (brush your teeth while your shower taking care of other business small) I realized that it just went too slow. With that being said, I never could find a light for our ktichen that made me want to buy it. So I thought I would try to repaint one on my on. I got it at the restore with globes for under $25. Can of spray paint and a little help from my husband to hang it and it is done. If only they were all this easy. So am now a happy camper not looking at the ugly brass one that has hung here since we moved on. Now I guess I need to get back to laundry and plain old house cleaning. The other things I don't find my passion in! :)

The light that has caused the source of many problems . . . okay maybe not all that but I really don't like it!The purchased light. Here is the point in which I wonder if I am crazy or will I really like it.The new globes I got for 50 cents each!Hanging in the garage waiting to dry. By the way, I also figured out how hard it is to take pictures of these kind of lights. The pictures don't make me feel as happy as I do when I acutally look at the light over the table.

What a start!

While working on setting up the kids's new awesome puppet theatre upstairs, I had the iphone shuffling my music library. I was so taken back by a song that came on I had to listen to it twice. It was by Wayne Watson. Wow, talk about a flash back. It took me back to those days in high school, when I was a little obnoxious (understatement) with my faith. I still remember borrowing a video tape from my youth minister David with some christian music videos on it that forever changed my genre of favorite music. We are talking early 90s. Micheal W. Smith . . . Amy Grant. . . Bruce Carrol . . . Al Denson . . . and of course Wayne Watson.

It is funny the things I remember, how crooked his teeth were in the Long Arm of the Lord video. That cool vest Micheal W Smith wore in Secret Ambition, but I digress! But above all those silly things, I remember how the music moved me then in my young walk as a believer. I remember wishing I had a singing voice so I could share some of these awesome songs that really spoke to my heart with those at chuch because those songs touched me so. But alas, my shower and car is where they were mostly shared.

Music and songs are to my journey with the Lord are like a photograph for me in a picture album. I will never forget one particular album of Micheal W. Smith's that I listened to on a mission trip with my choir from church. I guess you get the picture, no pun intended. I was really needing a sweet embrace if you will from God tonight and I got it, in the form of a song. So, to really mark this time that I felt as if God were sitting next to me in my car tonight, I will share the words of a song that really meant a lot in high school . . . and even tonight.

Every Now and Again (Wayne Watson)
It's good to be lonely every now and again
To be parted from the ones you adore
To sit at a table for two all alone
And take a look at the world around you
At people with no one to go home to
Some with a place to belong
Others consumed by their weakness
And another when weak seems so strong

Lord, let me be at peace wherever I am
Satisfied with all I have--A faithful friend
And know I am grateful
Cause if it makes me love you even more
I know--I'm sure
It's good to be lonely every now and again

It's good to go down to defeat now and then
To fail at some nobel pursuit
To fall short of the prize
And find in His eyes
There's nothing your victory can do
To secure higher favor
He cannot love you more than now
Winners and losers
All are the same somehow

And it's good to know sorrow
To be closely acquainted with grief
To be showered with tears
No reason to cheer
To find in Christ your only relief


I am finding in my life the removal of excess reveals the true acess I have with the one who loves me most. May I press into him and see all he has given instead of what I think I need.

Precious Gift for me

Today has been a hard day. Not sure why, it has been building though. I lost it. Lost it with a few people, mainly my kiddos. Went through periods not sure if I would make it out alive. I guess I share this because so many times I look around and think . . . I never see any one else lose it. It must be only me.

I know that is not true and I am so thankful in moments like these that even though I may not behave like I have been given all the self control I need, I have. He has taken care of that . . . it is my choice to draw upon it, I can royally mess up, and His tender mercies will be new for this great offender!

In the most pressing of all cirmcumstance, a lot of words filled with death have been spoken over me. I find that those are the hardest to let go of. Not because I believe them, but because I feel this great need to disprove them. I was driving down the road trying to come up with a clever stautus updates mildly hinting at the day I had. I was thinking how alone I felt and no one really knew that what I needed most was just comfort. Not that it wasn't given, but it wasn't from the one who can really diminish the pain of my broken heart. So, back to the update. I was trying to be clever in wording my status and it hit me. Who can comfort me? Only one can do so in a way that brings long lasting relief. Only one who can hold me so close and let me know that I am okay. I felt like David in one of those rants in a psalm bellyaching about all my misery. Then the verse came to me (thanks AWANAS) "Your staff and rod they comfort me . . ." (psalm 23).

That is it! That is what I sometimes still find myself striving to find in humans. They were not meant to comfort me in this way. Those I know cared about me spoke truth and encouragment, but it was not until I allowed the Lord to calm my spirit and remind me that he is enough. I had that talk that maybe you have had before:

Me:"I feel so alone."

God:"But you are not, I am here."

Me:"But why can't I have someone tell me it is going to be okay. Why can't they say that it stinks, but you will make it through?"

God:"I am and I do."

Me: long silence "You are right, why do I ever turn to anything but you?"

God:"It is in me where you will find what you truly long for, because I love you like no other."

Me: "Forgive me for being so hard headed."

So, in His usually sweeteness this new song I had been enjoying came on in my car and it spoke so loud and clear. So today, I am pressing into the giver of ALL good gifts. One of those is the fruit of the Spirit. So if you see me not showing the full measure of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self control, goodness, faithfulness, or kindness . .. then feel free to remind me, "He is enough, Tammy."

Here is the line, in case you missed my status update on fb:

If I lost it all would my hands stay lifted to the God who gives and takes away? If you take it all, this life you've given, still my heart will sing to you. Even if you take it all away, you'll never let me go. I still know that I'm still Yours! (Kutless: I'm Still Yours)

Love my playlist! Got it now on my blog! Small things make me happy these days, I guess.

Patrick's Nightmare

We had spaghetti last night. I knew Jackson was getting to the age he needed to crossover into toddlerhood . . . he had to experience the spaghetti for himself. Patrick hates this phase as it involves a huge mess. Not like Babyboom, but pretty severe for our household standards. Jackson loved every minute of it, from the onions up his nose to the noodle on his head. His rosy cheeks added to the orange hue of the sauce. The nice part about these pics is that you get to enjoy them from the clean side of the lens! Love making memories!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!

I am getting to where I am an organizing freak! I have figured out when I can do the tree, cards, presents, or anything else in regards to Christmas so I am not running around not enjoying it. That is good and bad. Good because I can get it done, bad because if I don't it makes me feel like I am going to miss out because I missed the deadline.

Well, this year Sydney was in the Nutcracker. Needless to say I am going to have to revamp the schedule to accomodate for this. So, we got the tree up. I even got the cranberry popcorn garland up- which is usally the hardest part to getting the tree up. I even got the lights up without a hitch. My problem this year was getting those darn homemade bows put up so the kids could get the decorations on the tree. The bows had to be just so in order to let the kids go nuts with the ornaments and I felt like I contributed something to it.

The other slow down was being in the mood to of course take picutes of the event. Between Thanksgiving, Mexico, and December I got sick and it really slowed things down. But never fear! The tree had presents under it before we decorated it. So for my dad's birthday, we decided to celebrate it by decorating the tree. What fun! I love letting the children do

it all, which provides some interesting decorating. Of course I had to get them to pose in front of it. Most of Savannah's ended up on the floor. They loved looking at each one of their's and remembering why they got it. That was my favorite part, but can't figure out how to really photograph it so for now I'll just remember real hard. So here is one of the things that makes my heart flutter at Christmas. The white lights of our Charlie Brown Christmas tree.(Our tree is 12 years old, including the bows. Thank goodness not the popcorn and cranberry!) It just makes me smile to walk into the room with only the Christmas lights on. It reminds me of why I love Christmas. There is so much joy, peace, and hope when you stop long enough to take it all in. Now to enjoy the last ten days before the day we honor Christ being born into this world. He took on our sins as his own to allow us the opportunity to spend forever with him once receive the gift he gave us on the cross. Whew! Thank you God for loving us so! May my life reflect the most important thing in my life . . .YOU!