Monday, May 3, 2010

Monday . . .

I seemed to have lost the pictures and now fill most entries with words. I kind of feel like that is all I have right now. Words to function from situation to situation, words to try to explain my failing mouth in expressing myself, only words to describe the way I feel right now.

How these words fail me now. It has been such a world wind for these last few months and I must confess to not being use to it. I had guarded my time so closely and I agreed to several things not knowing how it would all fall together. MAN! I hardly had time to breathe and it really took all of last weekend to get myself feeling a little more normal.

But then . . . that is where it started to go downhill. See when you are busy and needed it feels good and important to rush here and there, accomplish this and that. But when you stop, it is almost like going through a detox. No one around, no one to pat you on the back for all you have done, no one to notice that you are not sure what to do with yourself.

Today I behaved badly. I let my world seem dark and lonely and let my feelings tell me what my reality was. I was so deceived and duped, and it makes me angry! Why do I let the enemy tell me my reality? Why do I let him tell me the things that temporarialy scratch my itch?

Oh but God is faithful. I began to tell Him how bad it was and how I am just so misunderstood. Know what He did? Gently told me what the Truth was in my situation and how I had let myself return to the familar places where burdens were great and life seemed hopeless.

Thank you Lord for not condeming me but reminding me of You are good. Your heart towads me is good. I am not who I was, I am Yours! May that be what exudes from me each and every day. Not because I get it 100%, but because you are 100% what you say you are.

Found this video right after I posted this. Have been following this family for some time and was truly blessed by what they shared. May you be as well! Don't forget to mute the music at the bottom before you push play.